The absence of the “Necessary Good Thing”, as Dr. Jim Wilder says in his book The Life Model, is a type “A” trauma. This comes to a person from the absence of good things that should have been received, the emotional nurture that when given, provides us all with stability of emotions and soul. A fracture or type “B” trauma is a bad thing that should not have happened, but did. These fractures can lead to unresolved feelings that leave gaps or blanks of memory, otherwise called fractures of the mind. The mind was created with a protective mechanism to initially separate or forget a type “B” trauma as a means of protection. However, it also needs to be healed, or the body, mind and spirit will not be able to find complete wholeness. Several examples of such absences include: 
Not being cherished and celebrated by parents or parental figures simply on the basis of one’s existence.
- Not having the experience of being a delight.
- Not having a parent take time to understand who you are or encouraging you to share who you are, what you think and what you feel.
- Not receiving large amounts of non-sexual physical nurturing – laps to sit on, arms to hold you, and a willingness to let you go when you have had enough.
- Not receiving age-appropriate limits.
- Not being taught how to do hard things- to problem solve, and to develop persistence.
- Not given opportunities to develop personal resources and talents.
With the absence of the necessary good thing, it is critical to be given welcoming new life-giving relationships that satisfy the neglected absences that the person has experienced. While prayer can help with the effects that this type “A” trauma has brought, it is in the presence of loving relationships where the healing is fully accomplished.
Both absences and fractures require care, prayer, and the love of a spiritual family in order to bring full healing and the blessedness of relationship with God, others and within the person. Coming with honest recognition and surrender to the pain and wounded places of the heart takes courage. It’s a choice and here’s the key, “For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus”. I Timothy 2:5. He was wounded for our transgressions and longs for us to come to trust Him with all our hearts, minds, and souls.
 The Life Model. E. James Wilder, PhD